Some humorus sign ads

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... cheap...........no strings attached.

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.

Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.

Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !

Confusing Name

An Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman " arrived at the New York airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hours for the authorities to call his name.
He got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet.

They said that they have been calling him for the last 2 hours as

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*
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"Anotherman Superman"

HOPE,TRUST,CONFIDENCE

CONFIDENCE:

1 Day all villagers decided to pray for rain.On the day of prayer all people gathered & only one boy come with umbrella. THATS CONFIDENCE.

TRUST:

Trust should be like feeling of a 1 year old baby, when you throw him in tha air, he laughs....Because he know you will catch him...

HOPE:

Every night we go to bed, have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning But still we have many plans for coming day...

KEEP CONFIDENCE, TRUST IN GOD AND NEVER LOSE HOPE...

Importance of having Breakfast

Breakfast can help prevent strokes, heart attack and sudden death.Advice on not to skip breakfast!Healthy livingFor those who always skip breakfast, you should stop that habit now!You've heard many times that "Breakfast is the most important meal ofthe day." Now, recent research confirms that one of the worst practicesyou can develop may be avoiding breakfast.
Why?
Because the frequency of heart attack, sudden death, and stroke peaksbetween 6: 00a.m. and noon , with the highest incidence being between 8:00a.m. and 10:00a.m.What mechanism within the body could account for this significant jump in sudden death in the early morning hours? We may have an Answer. Platelet, tiny elements in the blood that keep us from bleeding to Deathif we get a cut, can clump together inside our arteries due to cholesterol or P plaque buildup in the artery lining. It is in the morning hours that platelets become the most activated and tend to formthese internal blood clots at the greatest frequency.
However, eating even a very light breakfast prevents the morning platelet activation that is associated with heart attacks and strokes. Studies performed at Memorial University in St.Johns, Newfoundland found that eating a light, very low-fat breakfast was critical in modifying the morning platelet activation. Subjects in the study consumed either low-fat or fat-free yogurt, orange juice, fruit, and a source of protein coming from yogurt or fat-free milk. So if you skip breakfast, it's important that you change this practice immediately in light of this research. Develop a simple plan to eat cereal, such as oatmeal or Bran.
Flakes, along with six ounces of grape juice or orange juice, and perhaps a piece of fruit. This simple plan will keep your platelets from sticking together, keep blood clots from forming, and perhaps head off a potential Heart Attack or stroke. So never ever skip breakfast

Try to figure it out

See If You Can Figure Out What These Words Have In Common......

Banana

Dresser

Grammar

Potato

Revive

Uneven

Voodoo

.

.

.

Are You Peeking

Or Have You Already Given Up?

Give It Another Try

....

Here You Go... . This Is Cool.

Answer:

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word. Did you figure it out?

WINNERS VERSUS LOSERS

I got this thru' an email. There is really something in this to think. Hope you all will enjoy.


The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem.

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The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.

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The Winner says, "Let me do it for you";
The Loser says, "That is not my job."

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The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.

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The Winner says, " It may be difficult but it is possible";
The Loser says, "It may be possible but i t is too difficult."

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When a Winner makes a mistake, he says, "I was wrong";
When a Loser makes a mistake, he says, "It wasn't my fault."

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A Winner makes commitments;
A Loser makes promises.

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Winners have dreams;
Losers have schemes.

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Winners say, "I must do something";
Losers say, "Something must be done."

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Winners are a part of the team;
Losers are apart from the team.

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Winners see the gain;
Losers see the pain.

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Winners see possibilities;
Losers see problems.

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Winners believe in win-win;
Losers believe for them to win someone has to lose.

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Winners see the potential;
Losers see the past.

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Winners are like a thermostat;
Losers are like thermometers.

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Winners choose what they say;
Losers say what they choose.

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Winners use hard arguments but soft words;
Losers use soft arguments but hard words.

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Winners stand firm on values but compromise on petty things;
Losers stand firm on petty things but compromise on values.

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Winners follow the philosophy of empathy: "Don't do to others what you would not want them to do to you";
Losers follow the philosophy, "Do it to others before they do it to you ."

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Winners make it happen;
Losers let it happen.

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Play with words

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

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PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

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ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

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DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

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THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

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THE MORSE CODE:

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS

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SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME

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ANIMOSITY:

When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY

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ELECTION RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

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MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER

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SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

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A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

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THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE

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AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE

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Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay .. Too much time on their hands!

Reason why never visit a 5 * Hotel

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

Brain Scans Reveal Why Meditation Works

By Melinda Wenner , Special to LiveScience
posted: 29 June 2007 09:08 am ET

If you name your emotions, you can tame them, according to new research that suggests why meditation works.
Brain scans show that putting negative emotions into words calms the brain's emotion center. That could explain meditation's purported emotional benefits, because people who meditate often label their negative emotions in an effort to "let them go."
Psychologists have long believed that people who talk about their feelings have more control over them, but they don't know why it works.
UCLA psychologist Matthew Lieberman and his colleagues hooked 30 people up to functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machines, which scan the brain to reveal which parts are active and inactive at any given moment.
They asked the subjects to look at pictures of male or female faces making emotional expressions. Below some of the photos was a choice of words describing the emotion—such as "angry" or "fearful"—or two possible names for the people in the pictures, one male name and one female name.
When presented with these choices, the subjects were asked to pick the most appropriate emotion or gender-appropriate name to fit the face they saw.
When the participants chose labels for the negative emotions, activity in the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex region—an area associated with thinking in words about emotional experiences—became more active, whereas activity in the amygdala, a brain region involved in emotional processing, was calmed.
By contrast, when the subjects picked appropriate names for the faces, the brain scans revealed none of these changes—indicating that only emotional labeling makes a difference.
"In the same way you hit the brake when you're driving when you see a yellow light, when you put feelings into words, you seem to be hitting the brakes on your emotional responses," Lieberman said of his study, which is detailed in the current issue of Psychological Science.
In a second experiment, 27 of the same subjects completed questionnaires to determine how "mindful" they are.
Meditation and other "mindfulness" techniques are designed to help people pay more attention to their present emotions, thoughts and sensations without reacting strongly to them. Meditators often acknowledge and name their negative emotions in order to "let them go."
When the team compared brain scans from subjects who had more mindful dispositions to those from subjects who were less mindful, they found a stark difference—the mindful subjects experienced greater activation in the right ventrolateral prefrontral cortex and a greater calming effect in the amygdala after labeling their emotions.
"These findings may help explain the beneficial health effects of mindfulness meditation, and suggest, for the first time, an underlying reason why mindfulness meditation programs improve mood and health," said David Creswell, a UCLA psychologist who led the second part of the study, which will be detailed in Psychosomatic Medicine.

Top 7 reasons why I joined IT ...

1) I hated sleep.

2) I had enjoyed my life enough.

3) I couldn't live without tension.

4) I wanted to pay for my sins.

5) I believed in the Bhagwad Geeta principle : karm karo , phal ki ichha na karo.

6) Everything in life has a reason; i wanted to prove it wrong.

7) I wanted to take revenge on myself.

Must Read - Abdul Kalam's Speech

Please read this article by sparing 10 minutes from your busy life. Its about us, after all...

The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad ..

Why is the media here so negative?Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, ourachievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?We are the first in milk production.We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.We are the second largest producer of wheat.We are the second largest producer of rice.Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into aself-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievementsbut our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology.Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize thatself-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving thislecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India ..For her, you and I will have to build this developed India .. You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice isyours.YOU say that our government is inefficient.YOU say that our laws are too old.YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?Take a person on his way to Singapore .. Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah. YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchangein London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son.
Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand .Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU useexamination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are stilltalking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr.Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on thestreets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame theauthorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan . Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility. We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away. Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England .. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F. Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIAAND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'Lets do what India needs from us.

Thank you,

Dr. Abdul Kalaam

Newton

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seekUnfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...

Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ...

He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .

Einstein says " newton's out..newton's out....."Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton......"All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared..... .

Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......! ,_

My Visit in Heaven

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.

My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, " This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received."

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section.Here , the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."

I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing.

"This is the Acknowledgment Section, " my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed."How is it that there's no work going on here?" I asked. "So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.

"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked. "Simple," the angel answered. "Just say, " Thank you, Lord."

"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.



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"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... You are richer than 75% of this world .

"If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy. "And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."

Also ......

"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ...... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day. "If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. You are ahead of 700 million people in the world.

"If you can attend a place of worship without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death ... You are envied by, and more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

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Attn: Acknowledge Dept.: Thank You Lord! " Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with."

Marvellous Answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic

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He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".

Unconditional Love

Some time ago, a friend of mine punished his 4 year old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the small child tried to decorate a box to put under the tree. Nevertheless the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said " This is for you Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier over reaction... He opened the box and his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.

Then he yelled at her: DON'T YOU KNOW when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside of it??? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, Oh Daddy it's not empty, I blew kisses into the box , all for you Daddy. The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her for forgiveness. My friend told me that he kept that gold box near his bed for years.


Whenever he was discouraged he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense each of us has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

Size Comparison

Amazingly Cute Creations

Leather bound Bible

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.

Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study.



His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat Disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.

Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, " With all your money you give me a Bible? And stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.

Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.

His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11, "And if ye, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words... PAID IN FULL.

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How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected ? I trust you enjoyed this. Pass it on to others. Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for...

IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKED THE WAY YOU WANT IT , IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKED THAT WAY! ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS; THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO ATTACHMENTS

ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTION

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, " Father, may I smoke while I pray?"



The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."



And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke ?"



To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."



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Moral of the story is ... The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

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For example, if you want a vacation when still working on a project don't ask for the holiday;

Ask: "Can I keep working on this project while I'm on vacation?"

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Management Lesson

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.

No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not? "

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass ."