Friday, February 23, 2007
Leather bound Bible
A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.
Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study.
His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat Disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.
Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, " With all your money you give me a Bible? And stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.
His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11, "And if ye, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words... PAID IN FULL.
*******
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected ? I trust you enjoyed this. Pass it on to others. Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for...
IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKED THE WAY YOU WANT IT , IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKED THAT WAY! ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS; THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO ATTACHMENTS
Thursday, February 22, 2007
ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTION
Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, " Father, may I smoke while I pray?"
The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke ?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."
**********
Moral of the story is ... The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
**********
For example, if you want a vacation when still working on a project don't ask for the holiday;
Ask: "Can I keep working on this project while I'm on vacation?"
**********
Management Lesson
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.
No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.
The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not? "
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass ."
FAIRY TALE
Monday, February 19, 2007
A salty story ...
Love is not to forget but to forgive
Not to see but to understand
Not to hear but to listen
Not to let go but to HOLD ON!!!!
Friday, February 16, 2007
Types of Girls
CD-ROM GIRLS
She is always faster and faster.
***********
EMAIL GIRLS
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .
***********
HARD DISK GIRLS
She remembers everything, FOREVER
***********
INTERNET GIRLS
Difficult to access
***********
MULTIMEDIA GIRLS
She make horrible thing look beautiful
***********
SCREENSAVER GIRLS
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun
***********
RAM GIRLS
She forget about you, the moment turn her off
***********
WINDOW GIRLS
Everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
***********
VIRUS GIRLS
Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will lose everything.. .
***********
SERVER GIRLS
Always busy when you need her.
***********
I'm the Boss
A Good Ha..Ha..Ha..
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day
that he wasn't getting any respect.
The next day, he brought a small sign that
Read:"I'm the Boss!"
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch,
he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
" Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
MagneCote: The World's Most Attractive Paper
God doesn't exist - A nice story
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.
Tell me, if God exists,would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine loving a God who would allow all of these things."
Friday, February 09, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
We Feel Fine
When it finds such a phrase, it records the full sentence, up to the period, and identifies the "feeling" expressed in that sentence.
Sing The Showersong
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Modern Heights
Offering blank visiting cards.
**************
2. What is height of Active laziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
**************
3. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
**************
4. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
**************
5. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
**************
6. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
**************
7. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
**************
8. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
**************
Monday, February 05, 2007
50 Quotes on Mother
-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
# "I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."
-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
# "A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
-- Agatha Christie
# "You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother."
-- Albert Einstein
# "By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class."
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
# "Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."
-- Aristotle
# "Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like."
-- Arnold Bennett
# "A mother is she who can take the place of all others butwhose place no one else can take."
-- Cardinal Mermillod
# "A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary."
-- Dorothy Canfield Fisher
# "I really learned it all from mothers."
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock
# "If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers."
-- Edgar Watson Howe
# "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."
-- George Washington (1732-1799)
# "The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom."
-- Henry Ward Beecher
# "What the mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin."
-- Henry Ward Beecher
# "The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
-- Honore' de Balzac
# "Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character."
-- Hosea Ballou
# "Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not."
-- James Joyce
# "The best academy, a mother's knee."
-- James Russell Lowell
# "The phrase "working mother" is redundant."
-- Jane Sellman
# "God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
-- Jewish proverb
# "Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process."
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
# "A boy's best friend is his mother."
-- Joseph Stefano
# "Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world."
-- Kate Douglas Wiggin
# "Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother."
-- Lin Yutang
# "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
-- Mark Twain
# "Motherhood is like Albania-- you can't trust the descriptions in the books, you have to go there."
-- Marni Jackson
# "We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later; and the birth and growth of the spirit, in those who are attentive to their own inner life, are slow and exceedingly painful. Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth."
-- Mary Antin
# "To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power."
-- Maya Angelou
# "Over the years I have learned that motherhood is much like an austere religious order, the joining of which obligates one to relinquish all claims to personal possessions."
-- Nancy Stahl
# "Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1775-1817)
# "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
-- Oscar Wilde
# "When I was a child, my mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general. If you become a monk you'll end up as the pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."
-- Pablo Picasso
# "A mother's hardest to forgive. Life is the fruit she longs to hand you, Ripe on a plate. And while you live, Relentlessly she understands you."
-- Phyllis McGinley
# "Men are what their mothers made them."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
# "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
# "A mother is a mother still, The holiest thing alive."
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
# "People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally 'being lived.' They are acting out scripts written by parents, associates, and society."
-- Stephen R. Covey
# "Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial."
-- Sydney Biddle Barrows
# "The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes one a mother-which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician."
-- Sydney J. Harris
# "An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest."
-- Spanish proverb
# "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
-- Theodore Hesburgh
# "A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother's love."
-- Thomas C. Haliburton
# "Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it don't mean a thing."
-- Toni Morrison
# "Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives."
-- Unknown
# "A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them."
-- Victor Hugo
# "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us when adversity takes the place of prosperity when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."
--Washington Irving
# "The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother."
-- W. C. Fields
# "A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it."
-- W. D. Howells
# "Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children."
--William Makepeace Thackeray
# "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."
-- William Ross Wallace
Friday, February 02, 2007
20 Questions - Check it
Once
2. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the biggest mountain in the world?
Mount Everest
3. What is it that you will break when you call it by name?
Silence
4. Which weighs more, a pound of pennies or a pound of dimes?
A pound is a pound, the world around
5. Two U.S. coins add up to 55 cents, but one coin is not a nickel. What are these coins?
Although one coin is not a nickel, the other coin is!
6. What is it that the people who make it, don't want it; the people who buy it, don't use it; and the people who use, don't know it?
A coffin
7. A man rides into a town on Sunday, three days later, he leaves on Sunday, how can this be?
The horse was named Sunday!
8. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third childs name?
Johnny.
9. On what side of the cup does the handle belong?
The outside!
10. What kind of dog has four legs but never runs?
A sleeping dog! Dead dogs also
11. Two ducks in front of a duck, two ducks behind a duck and a duck in the middle. how many ducks?
(Not 5) Three, they are swimming in a single row.
12. A man is driving his car without its lights on, the streets lights are not on, and there is no moon. A black cat runs in front of him. He brakes quickly and avoids it. How did he see the cat?
Who said anything about driving at night? It's daytime!
13. It takes 3 mins to boil 1 egg. How long does it take to boil 3 eggs?
(Not 9) Three minutes, you place them all in the same pan.
14. Where are potatoes grown?
In the ground
15. If you hop out of your flop, to drop by the shop for a mop, and to top it off, your pop is a cop, what should you do when you come to a green light?
On a green light you go, an a red light you stop.
16. You have a wooden barrel filled with water. what can you put in it to make it lighter?
A well placed hole
17. What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?
your name
18. There are 2 babies born on the same day at the same time in the same month in the same year at the same hospital from the same biological mother. How is it possible they are not twins? They are triplets!
19. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
incorrectly
20. What can you keep even after giving it to someone else?
Your word, a cold, or your name.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Scary Spam Automation Tool
Nevertheless, it's scary! I don't want to post an infomercial here, so I don't name the software. To be warned about the presence of this tool.
Read more in this article by Conrad Askland.
See also The Washington Post: Scary Blogspam Automation Tools.